No one knows the answer to this question “are you taking care of what you should be” except you, yourself.
You know what your needs are, and another person really doesn’t know what you need. You know if you need rest, you know if you need affection, you know when you need to take action and you know what you want. Where I am going with this is: Are you taking care of yourself? Because let’s be honest, YOU ARE WHATS IMPORTANT. As a society we have been extremely detached to the idea of taking care of ourselves. Some have the belief that taking care of ourselves is selfish. I’m not one with this belief but I grew up with parents that had this implanted in them so I was raised in this manner but found it very confusing the older I got. Everyone came before them. At work at home and in every part of their lives. I could tell my parents truly worked hard but they weren’t living a life they loved. They coped anyway they could, and I didn’t understand how could they make everything else more important than themselves? Until I also became a version of this. People pleasing, doing anything I could not to upset anyone. Walking on eggshells and thinking I was doing it for this person and that person when actually I was just living out behaviors of not taking care of myself, not listening to what I really needed in each moment.
In my twenties I had to re learn what it meant to take care of myself. My parents have been one of my greatest teachers in this because I truly think we all deserve to live our life the way we want and need, and they showed me the result if we do not take responsibility we lose ourselves trying to please everyone. I had to learn how to set boundaries and not do everything for everyone at any given moment they needed. I had to teach myself the importance of alone time and recovering from the energy we absorb and transfer everyday. I hate to admit it but I even had to learn how to let myself have things I wanted because this was something I saw repeatedly from my parents, not letting themselves have what they really wanted. They taught me you lose yourself if you don’t take care of yourself. Although this was a hard lesson it gave me so much purpose, and trust me I’ve had to re learn and re live it many times. It is sad when we see people we love neglecting their needs but altimitly it is our responsibility to do what we need for our selves. Otherwise we form codependent behaviors.
We are human beings and we all have needs that are meant to be met. We must listen. My parents might not have wanted to take care of themselves but they showed me their way of life and I knew there had to be more, so I’ve dedicated my life to taking care of myself and letting myself have everything I want. The alternative I have tried and sometimes even go back to in moments of weakness, and I believe the thoughts like maybe you’ll never have what you want, maybe you’ll never have your dream home, your dream career or the family you’ve always wanted, but then I remember everything I want is already mine. I can have the biggest dreams and make them all a reality.
Life is to short to stay somewhere you are comfortable. I want a spicy life, a passionate love, a luxurious lifestyle and anything else my heart desires! Some people still want to believe they have no control or say of how their life goes, but we all have opinions, I couldn’t keep surrounding myself with this truth so I changed it. If I would have stayed closed off to the possibilities of what I could make of my life I’d probably still be at a job I hated, and living a life that didn’t have purpose. I gave that life up for a better one. One that I am proud of and excited to wake up everyday. We can be strong and go after the things we want or we can start the next season on Netflix or come up with another excuse as to why we aren’t taking care of what’s important. It’s your choice, and you get to let your life look exactly how you want.
There are two kinds of people in this world, the ones that make excuses or the ones that make a way. You can’t be in the middle, so which one are you?
Do things that make you feel fucking alive. Be with people who show you love. Take the leap into your dreams, no one else is going to do it for you. You deserve your attention, more than anyone. Figure out what you want and be brave enough to go live it and love it.
Thank you beautiful souls for reading! If you’d like to dive deeper send me an email. Now, go give yourself attention queen/king.